Why Low Carb Diets are Stupid

Without citing numerous (and boring) research and studies that have validated time after time just how dumb low carbohydrate “diets” are for athletes or anyone who’s primary goal is to build lean muscle while simultaneously losing fat, let me instead apologize for all the BS you’ve been fed by the trainer at your gym who obtained his certification over the weekend, (no offense to my personal trainer friends out there killing it!) or the nonsense you’ve come across on social media via fitness personalities with strong selfie games who look the part, but sadly have not the slightest clue about nutrition, biomechanics, kinesiology, and dieting in such a way that promotes sustainability, success, and long term results.

If you are 50+ years of age, have no interest in exercising in any capacity, and intend on remaining relatively dormant, (which is perfectly ok) low/no carbs and higher fat diets would work well for you, so no need to continue reading today.

If you’re not, keep reading to see why low carb diets Are f’n stupid…

Low Carb Fairy Tales

In order to justify the effectiveness of low carb diets that SCIENCE has proven time and time again to be complete BS, some fitness “professionals” and social media gurus will combine pseudoscience and selective citation to support their arguments.

That said…let me be the first to say the following regarding low/no carb diets: THEY WORK!!!!

So you’re probably confused and thinking what the hell is this guy talking about, and why is he contradicting himself on an open forum. LOL Allow myself to explain….. myself . (Austin Powers reference for anyone keeping score) ☺

From a fat loss stand point you will see great results. No question. The issue here is these results are temporary 100% of the time.

You’ll also experience even more weight loss as a result of dropping water weight, as carbs tend to bind stronger to water than proteins or fats. What is conveniently never taken into account or mentioned before hand is the “dark side” of low carb diets.

Decreased mental acuity.

Brain fog, lack of focus, or weakened memory are all guaranteed symptoms of low carb diets. If you can afford to be less productive at work and feel ½ drunk intermittently throughout the day, then to you sir or ma’am I say rock on!

Increased Irritability.

Anyone who has ever done any sort of fitness competition can happily sign off on this one. Low carbs equate to less energy. Lower energy equates to shorter fuses. Maybe you don’t mind being a moody a-hole all the time, but I’m confident those around you on a daily basis may have some objection.

Bad Breath and Body Odor

What is that rancid smell? Sadly, it’s probably you. As you progress further into the world of low carbs, there will be an inevitable build –up of ketones. Ketones strangely can and will cause bad breathe, and in some cases, an egg like body odor.

Muscle Loss and Decreased Strength

If you want to add lean muscle and permanently lose body fat you need carbs. Period. You just need to make sure you’re implementing them strategically, consistently, and from the proper sources. There is no physical way possible to train at such a level consistent with adding lean muscle if you are not taking in enough carbs. Just like a Lamborghini will not perform efficiently of 87-grade fuel, your body will not perform at optimal levels without proper fuel either.

Low Sex Drive

Your body requires X amount of calories on a daily basis to serve it’s internal and external functions. If it does not receive all that it needs, which is a staple of no/low carb diets, like your brain, your libido will take a hit or become non-existent. Not a great look, unless of course you are a priest or nun.


Because low carb diets cut out grains, beans, legumes, and other starches, there simplify isn’t enough “traffic” in your neither digestive track, nor fiber to promote healthy and regular bowel movements. This results in uncomfortable bloating, stomach cramps, and painful battles on the toilet.

You will ultimately gain all the weight back and then some.

So we all know someone who lost a sh*tload of weight in a relatively short period of time, who subsequently gained it all back with a vengeance, and then some. This is trademark of low carb diets. Your body can only exist in a restricted deficit for so long, and when, not if, you introduce carbs back in your diet, your body basically freaks out and goes into fat/water storing mode in a valiant effort to super over compensate for the hell you’ve put it through.

***I personally went thru this and have worked with dozens of others to help repair their metabolisms. It took me 3 months to get to where I was comfortable taking my shirt off again after I rebounded off a no carb diet. I’ll talk about this more in a future article.


You can get insanely lean and eat lots of carbs!!! You just have to ensure you’re taking them in from the right sources, that the portions are in line with your personal goals, and most importantly, you stay CONSISTENT with your daily intake.

The body is a very sophisticated mechanism, and whatever we do to it, whether good, bad, or indifferent, it will adapt. Kind of like our tolerance with alcohol (What to Drink When Getting Drunk).

Ultimately you have 2 choices

1. Cut carbs, deal with all the above side effects, and look good in the short term, and inevitably end up disappointed, discouraged, and depressed that you actually end up fatter that you were initially,


2. Trust the process, allow your body and metabolism to figure out what you’re doing to it, and invariably look, feel, and perform better than you ever have, 365 days a year.

I’ll leave that in one in your hands.


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